I have wasted so much time

I can't believe I am in my mid 40's!! I feel like I was just at my mothers surprise 50th Birthday party (I remember thinking wow that is old) and yet that was some 20+ yrs ago and here I am almost 50. It feels like a blink, a dream even. Yet there were 24 hours in each day passing each week, month and year. That's about what, 175,200 hours that passed me by - wow. Did I use that time wisely? Did I make sufficient memories? Did I take "it" all in?

Where did the time go?

I will tell you where....worrying, feeling like I should do more, were the kids happy, was my husband happy, what should I make the kids for lunch today?, Would other moms approve of how I parent?, When the kids get older I'll live my life. Are there enough Christmas gifts under the tree?, I need to get rid of this 10 lbs. How are we going to afford the mortgage this month?, My in-laws, they intrude too much. When I have enough money I'll travel. Unexpected company came over and asked to use the bathroom but I hadn't cleaned it, I'm so embarrassed!, I should be more involved in my kids school. Why don't the kids and or my husband clean up after themselves, don't they now by now how "I" like things around here?, Why did I have that piece of cake?, Sex, no thanks too busy thinking about all that I have to do to be able to think about THAT!, Clean your room, another friggin sink full of dishes, really!!!, We never seem to have enough money, Did we invite enough kids to the birthday party?, Urgh, another party to host, Am I fat? and on and on and on.....You get the picture. Right?

......and you now what? I am still here - now in this very moment, despite all that worry all that doubt all the energy put into so many insignificant things, so much precious time wasted. Time passed by regardless of how I felt, regardless of how I spent it, regardless if the house was clean or not. The kids were fed, mortgages were met, Christmas was awesome, dishes got done, people used a dirty bathroom, Sex was had, other parents thought I was doing a pretty good job.

So here I am 40 (something) one kid moved out for some time now and one on the way out to College. I have a huge house filled with what, furniture, trinkets, that don't mean a dam thing!!! When all I'd love is to have more time.....more time with them, more, One more story Mommy, more I spilled my milk Mommy, I had an accident Mommy, One more kiss before bed Mommy, one more I love you Mommy.

Thank God I have had an awakening and can put all that BS aside and just focus on them, myself and my husband with a different perspective, one of clarity of what is really important and what I truly want to SPEND my time on.

Life is far too short ....

Life is far to short and far too quick you have heard this time and time again from so many people because it is TRUE! Time to stop worrying about things that don't matter one bit. Embrace the here and now, do not cry over spilled milk, spoil your spouse and not your kids, wear the nice lingerie just because, use the nice dishes, let the kids stay up and snuggle with them. Time will pass regardless and you will find yourself older and believe you me it happens in the blink of an eye.

Don't sweat the small stuff like I did. Enjoy your life for what that means to you.

How will you SPEND your time?

I have wasted so much time

I can't believe I am in my mid 40's!! I feel like I was just at my mothers surprise 50th Birthday party (I remember thinking wow that is old) and yet that was some 20+ yrs ago and here I am almost 50. It feels like a blink, a dream even. Yet there were 24 hours in each day passing each week, month and year. That's about what, 175,200 hours that passed me by - wow. Did I use that time wisely? Did I make sufficient memories? Did I take "it" all in?

Where did the time go?

I will tell you where....worrying, feeling like I should do more, were the kids happy, was my husband happy, what should I make the kids for lunch today?, Would other moms approve of how I parent?, When the kids get older I'll live my life. Are there enough Christmas gifts under the tree?, I need to get rid of this 10 lbs. How are we going to afford the mortgage this month?, My in-laws, they intrude too much. When I have enough money I'll travel. Unexpected company came over and asked to use the bathroom but I hadn't cleaned it, I'm so embarrassed!, I should be more involved in my kids school. Why don't the kids and or my husband clean up after themselves, don't they now by now how "I" like things around here?, Why did I have that piece of cake?, Sex, no thanks too busy thinking about all that I have to do to be able to think about THAT!, Clean your room, another friggin sink full of dishes, really!!!, We never seem to have enough money, Did we invite enough kids to the birthday party?, Urgh, another party to host, Am I fat? and on and on and on.....You get the picture. Right?

......and you now what? I am still here - now in this very moment, despite all that worry all that doubt all the energy put into so many insignificant things, so much precious time wasted. Time passed by regardless of how I felt, regardless of how I spent it, regardless if the house was clean or not. The kids were fed, mortgages were met, Christmas was awesome, dishes got done, people used a dirty bathroom, Sex was had, other parents thought I was doing a pretty good job.

So here I am 40 (something) one kid moved out for some time now and one on the way out to College. I have a huge house filled with what, furniture, trinkets, that don't mean a dam thing!!! When all I'd love is to have more time.....more time with them, more, One more story Mommy, more I spilled my milk Mommy, I had an accident Mommy, One more kiss before bed Mommy, one more I love you Mommy.

Thank God I have had an awakening and can put all that BS aside and just focus on them, myself and my husband with a different perspective, one of clarity of what is really important and what I truly want to SPEND my time on.

Life is far too short ....

Life is far to short and far too quick you have heard this time and time again from so many people because it is TRUE! Time to stop worrying about things that don't matter one bit. Embrace the here and now, do not cry over spilled milk, spoil your spouse and not your kids, wear the nice lingerie just because, use the nice dishes, let the kids stay up and snuggle with them. Time will pass regardless and you will find yourself older and believe you me it happens in the blink of an eye.

Don't sweat the small stuff like I did. Enjoy your life for what that means to you.

How will you SPEND your time?

Forgive your parents by not living in the past, your future is NOT there

So often I have had discussions with people who are constantly complaining about their upbringing or complaining about someone who had a hard upbringing and I think to myself how very sad it is. I know an almost 60 year old that constantly reflect on things from 45 + years prior and just can't shake it, despite therapy!!! If they (you) are a parent yourself you will know how very difficult that job is and you yourself have tried your best - you never said you were perfect right? - so why not extend that very same reasoning to your parents? They never claimed to be perfect, they too (I am sure) tried their best at raising you. You don't fully know their story, you don't know their why or why not's. Cut them some slack whether you believe they deserve it or not.

 

 

Letting go of toxic people in your life (even family) may be necessary, but once you have done that MOVE on!!! Stop reliving things that hurt you - it is 1) Unhealthy and keeps you stuck and 2) Prevents you from enjoying your present and future.

 

 

 

We choose the thoughts we allow into our head - but like working out a muscle in the gym we too can workout a new way to think and process our feelings. Start by forgiving your parents, then change your unhealthy repetitive thoughts and replace them with happier memories and positive thoughts - YES it will take time AND effort on your part but eventually you will start to see some changes - life it too short to be stuck in the past.

 

Keep this blog as a reminder to keep moving forward - also keep it for your own kids as they may need it too!! Wink Wink.......

 

Forgive and move on.....your future happiness depends on it.

 

 

 

 



 

 



Although I am sympathetic, I am tired of being politically correct on a certain issue, here is why...

I am getting increasingly despondent by the fact that I feel it necessary to start off some of my blogs with a disclaimer, and yet here I go again.


DISCLAIMER: Please STOP reading the following blog and refer to this disclaimer when you start to get offended with what you are reading.


I would like the readers to take note that first and foremost I am a caring, loving, open minded individual who has the RIGHT to feel and think things as I please. I also have the right to write this blog; knowing that there will be those who think differently than I do, and I am ok with that as that is THEIR right too. I am in NO way writing this blog to offend anyone!!! I am writing it as a means to vent my personal frustration around certain current events!


Gender neutral restrooms:

There you have it, the source of my current frustration! This topic is being discussed/debated just about EVERYWHERE.


I want to get something straight right out of the gate in order to deflect some people out there who may want to rip a strip outta me. I am all for human rights, Duh!! Mine included. I am all for people to feel safe and welcome into the place where they are about to urinate and defecate. I am... really!!!


I am NOT okay with using the bathroom facilities with men. PERIOD. I just am not okay with that. Sometimes we ladies use the washroom to get away from men (on a 1st date perhaps or otherwise). We go there to fix ourselves up, chat with other ladies, check secretly for boogers and even toot (lol) etc...but, frankly speaking I am not even okay with "using the toilet" with other women around. Using the bathroom is a very private and yes rather disgusting - sometimes noisy and stinky situation and I rather do it completely solo to be honest. Although sometimes during the course of the month being in the ladies room can be a challenge to which other ladies will only be able to relate. You know when your monthly visitor decides to arrive a few days earlier than expected and you rely on the sisterhood of another women, "Um excuse me, can you kindly get me a tampon from the dispenser?" Can you imagine asking a random guy to help out with that?, as he is grunting and groaning in the stall next to you having a poop with no courtesy flush involved, or doing something even more nasty, Ahem. The thought makes me rather ill actually.

What it might feel like to me

It just doesn't seen right, I mean what is next gender neutral change rooms in all the department stores? No thanks! But that's a whole different ball of wax. Or is it?


Then there are schools; did you all forget how awful kids can be in school. Let alone opening up the door to having them ALL using the same facilities. Lord what a potential Pandora's box!!!


Now to walk on egg shells.....


I am sympathetic to those who are transgender, I really am. I am not oblivious to their plight (for lack of a better word). I just feel the issue is bigger than just the bathroom, or the bathroom is bigger than the issue, which ever way you want to refer to it. We should be considering ALL people and ALL feelings of EVERYONE.


YOU PERFECT POLITICALLY CORRECT PEOPLE SHAKING YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW, PLEASE READ THE DISCLAIMER ABOVE....


Ok, carrying on. Now if the facilities were "completely enclosed and private" for each individual then ok - no problem (well, less of a problem actually, but still ewe). If they are the way they are currently (stalls, open at the top and bottom) then I have an issue with it.

You know this would happen

 In the washroom we are all vulnerable (heck we are half naked doing our business) whether you are a man or woman a boy or a girl, shit happens (pardon the pun) there will always be that not so nice individual that may be somewhat off their rocker. It is best for the majority (in my old fashion, humble opinion) that the washroom situation remain as it is, separate. ***If a person has made the transition, then great - I welcome you :)


But NO men in the ladies room please!!!!!

There are after all family facilities and individual washrooms for those of us that require extra privacy - myself included.

Thanks for reading :)

5 tips to help you Stop being the ALPHA parent

It is Monday morning and the weeks craziness begins. You wake up and put your hair in a pony tail grab a quick coffee and start to make breakfast and school lunches. You want to workout but know that the house is just about to wake up and you relish in the last few minutes of silence you have until chaos ensues.

Then it starts, your week of self inflicted insanity. Lunches are made breakfast is done - no time to get the dishes done and you know you'll regret leaving them until later but there is nothing you can do about it as you are OUT of time. You didn't get to wash your hair but your kids are all spick 'n' span ready to go out the door to meet the bus. They have the "right" clothing choices for the days weather as you checked while folding the laundry and signing the kids homework sheets and writing the school a note cause you have to pick up one of your kids or a doctors appointment later in the day. Kids are now on the bus and you start to drive out of the driveway when you realize that you forgot to let the dog out and top up its water and food for the day. You hop out of the car, run back inside let the dog out and feed him then you remember you forgot to eat - so you grab a muffin to go. Meanwhile, your spouse is casually getting up and enjoying a quiet cup of coffee; Seemingly oblivious to everything that you just did and went through.

STOP IT!!!

You need to start to do the following ASAP!!!  You will be no good to anyone if you burn yourself out. Letting go of the reigns will be hard on you AS WELL as your partner who has become accustomed to you doing it all.....

1. Even thought you know you can handle everything, sit down with you partner and talk about dividing things up such as chores, cooking and shopping etc. Make a list, you are good at that (which you can rotate though so not one person is doing the same thing each and every week)
2. Make lunch prep a FAMILY event the NIGHT BEFORE - get everyone involved in making their own lunches. While you are at it - allow everyone to sort and fold and put away their clean laundry. Kids can do a lot more than you give them credit for. FYI folding doesn't have to be perfect, let it go.
3. Don't be so high strung on being the one to do all the Doctors/Dentist/Hair appointments - divvy them up. I know you are worried you wont get proper feedback on what the doctor actually said - don't worry you'll all live. (if super worried ask your partner to take notes, I know you are saying "Ya Right!" - again LET IT GO)
4. Rotate daycare/school drops offs, you deserve a quiet coffee in the morning too!!!
5. Treat yourself to the following recharging things at least a few times a week; Coffee with a friend, Gym time, Spa time, or if the budget just doesn't allow for those things then a nice long QUIET walk a few nights a week. Maybe around homework time (wink wink)

Remember that leaving the kids with your partner is NOT consider babysitting!! You need to take care of yourself first, then everyone else.

Relax and enjoy life as it is not a dress rehearsal, stop putting all this unnecessary pressure on yourself, it is after all self inflicted and wont get corrected unless you decide to correct it.

Believe me, BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!! Learn from my mistakes.... 

Signed, a previously burnt out Mom



I Choose the Roller Coaster Ride



by PositivePeopleArmy on April 7, 2016
 

Posted in All Posts, Army Member Posts, Heidi's Post, PPA Founders's Posts

It always starts with a feeling.
Something isn’t right, and I can’t figure out what.  I’m so anxious I can barely sit still.
It keeps me up at night, pacing and pondering. Days pass, but the feeling does not.
And then all of a sudden the answer will come to me.
The situation is always different but the conclusion I reach is always the same: I need to make a change. A big one.
Some call it intuition. I’ve followed it many times in my life, and it has never lead me astray.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself, it’s that sometimes I need to make radical changes in order to be truly happy.  I have no choice.
It can be really scary, to leave a marriage or a highly successful career, but every time I’ve followed that feeling my life has transformed for the better.
That feeling has come back. It’s tugging at my insides even as I type this.
When I launched the Positive People Army, it ignited a fire in me. I’d always known that I wanted to make a difference and spread positivity, and this blog became how I would do that. Or at least a great start.
I labeled it my Passion Project.
As the weeks passed, more and more people started reading, sharing, and following. Some folks even decided to join in and submit their own articles.
The blog was flourishing. The army was growing.
I should have felt pure joy. But the more the blog grew, the more angst I started to feel. Why did I feel this way?
Writing and sharing positive energy was exactly why I created the Positive People Army, and I was getting exactly what I wanted.
So what was I missing?
It reminded me of something that happened when my eldest son was about to turn 18.
As his birthday approached, a strange uneasiness began to come over me. I just couldn’t put my finger on why.
Then one day the answer came to me. Or rather, it was thrust into my face.
During an argument my son actually yelled, “You’re not the boss of me anymore!”
My heart sank, and I suddenly understood what had been making me so uncomfortable.
It was the thought of his impending transition into adulthood. He was going from someone who needed their mother to someone who didn’t.
Throughout Michael’s life I’ve tried my best to readjust and grow as a parent, but this particular circumstance was very different.
Since the time he was born I had made every decision in his life. I picked the food he ate and the clothes he wore. I decided which school he went to and what extracurricular activities he would enjoy.
In essence I was the manager of his life. It truly was the best job I could ever have asked for. But he no longer needed or wanted a supervisor.
I couldn’t get his words out of my head. You’re not the boss of me anymore. They echoed through my mind for days.
After many sleepless nights I finally admitted my discomfort to my husband. I told him how saddened I was to be losing Michael.
He looked at me sympathetically, held my hand and said, “Sweetheart you will never lose Michael, he loves you so much. You just need to readjust your role and probably give yourself a new title and the two of you will be just fine.”
His words hit me like a sack of bricks. He was right!
Why had I thought I would ever lose my son?  All I had to do was modify how I was parenting and give myself a new label.

With that thought I decided to retire as Manager of Michael’s Childhood. I then gave myself the fancy new title, Consultant to His Adulthood. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
And it was a simple change that worked.
Michael is now 20 years old and both of us have settled into our new roles quite well.
Remembering this moment helped me realize that maybe I needed help finding the answers, like my husband had helped me regarding Michael.
A number of days later I ran into a wonderful friend I hadn’t seen in a while. I’ve got a lot of those.
The moment she saw me she started gushing about the blog.  She shared her favourite stories and congratulated me on releasing such a positive force into the world.
I blushed and thanked her for her kind words. Then I sighed and confessed that I was feeling some unease about it, but had no idea why.
We talked about how I felt writing the posts and how much it meant to me to receive others people’s stories. She asked me what my hopes and dreams were for the Positive People Army.
Then the most amazing thing happened. I got the answer.
While I was speaking to her I unintentionally changed the mental label I had given the blog from my Passion Project to My Life’s Project.
The moment I said it I stopped myself. My entire body shuddered and I could feel goosebumps rising on my skin.
“O.M.G.” I said to her. “I think I just discovered why I’ve felt so funny. I want the blog to be more than just a hobby. I hadn’t even realized this until I said it!”
My girlfriend laughed and said, “I guess you need to start figuring out what that means and get to work on making it a reality.”
It’s terrifying to admit something like this out loud, even more so to actually write it down. But I know deep down that if I don’t, it won’t happen. Without people knowing what I want, the opportunities will never be offered to me.
I struggled to write this post for almost a week, afraid to put it out there in the universe, but I just had to do it.
And within 24 hours of me writing the first draft I was emailed and asked to do my first radio interview about the Army.  The universe had answered me in record time. It was an amazing sign and an incredible start to this journey I have ahead of me!
Once again, making a mental change had made all the difference in the world.
I realize this won’t happen overnight, and I could either be incredibly successful or fail miserably.
The way I look at it, I need to decide what kind of life I want. Do I want my life to be a carousel, going round and round in a predictable pattern? Or do I want my life to be an unpredictable roller coaster ride, joyous, scary, and beautiful?
In my heart I know there’s only one real choice. I choose the roller coaster, and I’m going to ride it with my hands up.
Watch out world, it’s time for the Positive People Army to become a phenomenon.
Join the army and let’s make a difference together!
***
Check out the CKTB Radio Interview 
To read more about the signs that have happened in my life check out “If You Build It…”
Sign up for all Army updates and stories and check out more stories at All Posts

My Unconventional Family Teaches Me the True Meaning of Family

by PositivePeopleArmy on April 5, 2016


I love Family Day.
It’s a Canadian holiday that occurs during the same weekend as President’s Day in the US. It was created to give people a chance to spend more time with those they cherish most, and that’s exactly what many of us do.
I plan something every year to celebrate it. It’s become one of my favourite days of the year, always a blissful time with my two boys and my amazing husband, Mike.
It also always reminds me of the day I learned the true meaning of family.
Right after finishing university, I got married and enrolled in a college to get some more hands-on education. While going to school, I also worked in a group home for adults with mental and physical disabilities.
It was there that I met Terry, a 38 year-old man with Down syndrome. He had the mental capacity of someone around five years old, and one of the biggest hearts of anyone I’ve ever met.
Unlike many of the other residents, Terry hadn’t grown up in facility housing.  He’d always lived with his mom and dad, up until they passed away. I could see that the drastic change in lifestyle was difficult for him to adjust to.
We quickly formed a bond. I’d look forward to seeing him every day. We’d often have coffee and donuts together, or dance to club music in the living room, two of Terry’s favourite activities. He was funny, caring, and loved the Three Stooges. He was my friend.
Two years flew by. During the week of my college graduation, my first husband and I learned that we were expecting a baby. As the months passed and my delivery date grew closer, I felt both happy and sad. Though thrilled that I would soon be a mother, I knew that once I was on maternity leave, I wouldn’t get to see Terry regularly anymore.
Then it hit me. I should just take Terry home to live with me.
I know it sounds crazy, maybe just a result of all the pregnancy hormones. All I knew was it was the right decision.
After countless conversations and a towering stack of paperwork, a 40 year-old, five foot, stocky Ukrainian man with Down syndrome moved into my house.
When Terry first moved in with me, his skills and vocabulary weren’t the best. His parents had done pretty much everything for him, and even in the group home it had been largely the same.
I knew that with a baby on the way, I had to start teaching Terry more life skills. It was a slow process, but he was gradually catching on to the basics, day by day. I never felt frustrated, because it just felt right to have his beautiful energy in the house.
When Michael was born, Terry immediately fell in love with him, and affectionately nicknamed him Bugaboo. A funny name that stuck for years.
Michael’s first year was wonderful, and Terry was right by his side for everything. To my surprise, Terry was absorbing everything I was teaching Michael.
As the years passed, Michael and Terry became inseparable. They were the very best of friends. And just as Michael’s abilities increased, so did Terry’s. They learned a lot from each other.
We never really discussed who Terry was in our lives, and Michael never thought to ask. Terry had just always been there, eternal and beloved.
When strangers would ask Michael if he had any siblings, he would respond, “No, but I have a Terry!”  It was cute.
Then one day, when we were out getting Michael’s haircut, something happened that forever changed the way I thought about family.

While the stylist cut his hair, she asked him questions like, Are you in School? What grade are you in? Do you like your teacher? He confidently answered all her questions with his adorable little voice.
And then she asked him if he had any brothers and sisters.  Michael responded, “Yes I do. I have a brother named Terry and he’s forty-five years old!”
“Forty-five!” the hairstylist responded, confused. “Don’t you mean four or five years old?”
“Nope, he’s forty-five!”
I looked up from the magazine I was reading. I laughed, but as I thought about his answer, I realized the significance of what he’d just said.
On the drive home I asked Michael why he told the hairstylist that Terry was his brother. In a very matter-of-fact way, he said, “Because he is and I love him.”
I was dumbfounded by his incredibly profound answer. I drove home speechless, tears rolling down my face.
Without being taught or told, my five year-old had figured out that we were a family.
From that day forward I introduced Terry as Michael’s brother. Some of the looks and questions I received over the years were hilarious.
Terry lived with us for over thirteen amazing years. In that time I watched Michael quickly evolve into the role of big brother, even though Terry was forty years his senior. Michael read to him, protected him, cared for him, and watched him grow older. They were truly brothers.
We all miss Terry a lot, but what he brought to our family can never be replaced. He taught us that family doesn’t just exist in the DNA. Family is a feeling. Family is love.
Since Terry left us, we continued growing our family unconventionally.  Many of Michael’s friends have lived in our house at times, and all of them are considered close family members. Though they’ve left the nest and moved on, they’re still in our lives, and still in our hearts.
For Family Day this year, I arranged for my family to celebrate at a new restaurant that had just opened.
To my great surprise, as the afternoon progressed, all the friends who have called our house a home stopped by, one by one, to celebrate this day with us.
As I sat there listening to everyone joke and share stories, I thought about Terry and the gift he brought our family.
I may only have a small family, technically speaking, but in reality it’s larger than life and still growing!


Written by Heidi (Founder of the Positive People Army)


http://www.positivepeoplearmy.com/my-next-journey/

7 Tips to keep your attitude in check

Attitude!! – best described as a state on mind. Our state of mind can go into a negative frame or a positive flow.  Whichever way it goes makes a huge difference to how we feel about things around us. With a negative flow, we start to build a case about what is not working in our lives and with a positive flow, we look for opportunities to make life work for us.  Besides a state of mind, with colder, longer days we can easily feel down and despondent. The lack of sunshine can lead to lack of energy and chutzpah.
Here are a few things you can do to keep your attitude in check before the mind takes over and possibly heads in the wrong direction.

1. Light therapy: can have a dramatic effect on your well being. Yellow light stimulates intellect while Turquoise helps mental relaxation. Red generates enthusiasm while blue has an overall calming effect. How to do light therapy? Get different color bulbs and go into a closed room and have the color bulb shed its glow.
2. Keeping up appearances: go for your hair appointment, do your nails, have a massage or whatever else makes you feel good.
3. Reflexology: A good old fashion foot massage that targets areas of the body and promotes full body circulation promotes feelings of well being.
4. Fresh air: get outside and go for a walk, even a 10 minute walk can help.
5. Be creative: Paint a picture, redecorate a dull room, even changing the furniture around can stir up some good vibes.
6. Do something for someone else: Volunteering is a wonderful way to give back to your community and feel good about it; get the whole family involved.
7. Exercise: The feeling you can get after a good workout is just awesome; exercising releases positive endorphins and that is always a good thing to keep up a positive attitude.

The trick to a good attitude is focusing on positive things in your life and catching yourself before you get into a negative funk. Keep positive and pay attention to where your mind goes.  Please share your thoughts as well as any additional suggestions you may have to get through the winter months with a positive attitude.

I didn't say "Yes" but I certainly didn't say "No" either - a personal story

A very personal story....

I remember a sexual encounter from a very long time ago and I question it. I question from time to time whether I should have said something at the time, Yes, No, Maybe......But then it happened and my choice was made.

I didn't say "Yes" but I certainly didn't say "No" Either.....Was this his fault? NO, it was NOT!

I don't dwell on this one time event, however I do revisit from time to time (and cringe) wishing that I had made a different choice. But I didn't!

Does this make me a victim?.....Not in my opinion it doesn't. I was old enough to know the situation I was getting myself into and I was there willingly and participated in what was happening knowing full well what COULD transpire.....and it ultimately did.

Now, this is my personal story - we are all different and we might all hold this scenario in a different way, but for me at THAT moment I was at a fork in the road and a decision had to be made - the train was full steam ahead and putting on the breaks just wasn't in the cards, so to speak (for either of us). I was 50 % of the equation and I didn't say anything!

So how was he to know I was even contemplating what was happening?

Do I wish it didn't happen, Yes! But it did and I learned a personal lesson that probably helped me become the person I am today. I have learned to listen to my inner voice and to use it loud and clear Not just in this type of situation, but in many of life's choices.....

I have learned to pause at the fork in the road and decide which route is best for ME!

And I am okay with that!

Thank you for reading

Cultural Appropriation - I am struggling with this

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL THE POLITICALLY CORRECT SENSITIVE PEOPLE OUT THERE.


I am a human being on this planet, as are you. I have my personal beliefs and rightfully so. I love ALL people and honour them with the respect they (we) all deserve, no matter what life style they live. I have raised my children to have the same respect towards others, to love and care for this planet. I hold no ill will towards anyone of any kind. I also am respectful to those who have endured much pain and suffering at the hands of others; past, present and future. (Also might I add that I am not referring to cultural things like sacred traditions.) If the following blog offends you, then I guess it has done it's job. If it offends you then it means it stirred something inside you that you too are struggling with. I am writing this blog as I am struggling with Cultural Appropriation and it's blatant contradiction. Graciously, let me explain. (with a tad of satire)


Wikipedia definition of Cultural Appropriation:

"Cultural appropriation is the adoption or use of elements of one culture by members of a different culture. Cultural appropriation is seen by some as controversial, notably when elements of a minority culture are used by members of the cultural majority; this is seen as wrongfully oppressing the minority culture or stripping it of its group identity and intellectual property rights."


Things are getting so far out of control in my opinion I terms of everyone and everything having to be so Politically Correct. At what point are we going to get fed up with all this BS and just start being a Human Race and stop constantly making divisions between us all.


Here are a FEW key points that have brought me to my struggle around this. Remember to refer to my disclaimer if you start getting offended.


A teacher at a local school joined in on the fun one Halloween and dressed up as one of his favorite celebrities - Mr. T. !!! Harmless for the most part but his costume got him into trouble because he colored his face black (last I checked Mr. T IS black there for making his costume correct) He was not mocking the awful things that happened to a whole race, he was dressing up as a real life, living celebrity who happened to be African American. Would a mask of Mr.T's face have been more appropriate?


A University in Ottawa recently cancelled and banned a FREE Yoga class on campus in fear of Cultural Appropriation, where by the Yoga class would offend the ancient practice of Yoga or it would offend other student with different religious beliefs. How about those students that don't want to participate in the free Yoga class just opt out? This is a bright idea.


Jlo was labelled with Cultural Appropriation for her use of Ethnic attire for one of her performances as was Beyoncé a few months latter.


Famous designers DSquared are accused of the same thing. Their new 2016 Spring Collection is apparently not sensitive to the culture it was trying to portray in a rather beautiful way might I add.


So how far are we planning on taking this?


Should only Mexican restaurants prepare and serve Mexican foods? Or any other type of cuisine to treated the same? Isn't that Cultural Appropriation? Food is something very near and dear to each culture. Preparing foods and gathering around the table is right up there in importance with many cultures.  Should we not be able to enjoy these foods outside our own culture because it may offend an entire culture?


How about Kaityn Jenner? She was never a woman and never grew up or experienced the likes of gender inequality or the strife women have had to endure over the years? How is this not Cultural Appropriation? (refer to my disclaimer above) tough question isn't it?


Further more about costume Geisha's wear a white face???? Just putting that out there.


Halloween will be destined to only be about non denominational, not real or historical figures....Hey how about you be Barney this year? The big purple dinosaur! Thank God there aren't any Dinosaurs around to contest.


Why can't a teacher wear a factual costume?, Why can't we have FREE Yoga classes on University campuses? Why can't we appreciate and wear wonderful articles of clothing without the fear of offending?


All these things are beautiful, No? Why can't we appreciate them all as such. I don't want to be afraid of wearing something or doing something that might offend someone when it is NOT my intention to offend.


With all due respect,


If you are a transgender Mexican driving around in your Chevy eating Sushi for lunch and wearing a Sari, I am okay with that........


Namaste & Mazel tov

From one human being to another, thank you for reading.

Double Standards for 407 ETR

Double Standards for 407 ETR

Posted by Tammy Flores on January 10th, 2016

There are so many complaints the public has with respects to Highway 407 and how it’s been operated over the past 15 years. At the heart is 407 ETR’s lack of concern for following consumer protection laws. It seems the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as one of the shareholders in this highway is notorious for ignoring the law in Spain.
Ferrovial is the largest shareholder of 407 ETR, owning 43.23%. They definitely have a say in the day to day operations of 407 ETR and have a double standard for what they expect for the company and what is expected from its customers.
The group “Global Anti-Toll Alliance”, GATA for short, has been highlighting scandals surrounding Ferrovial and questions why governing authorities continue to do business with this foreign company that has a reputation for ignoring the law.
In Spain, the law is that construction companies have 60 days to pay their creditors. In a report released by La Plataforma Multisectorial contra la Morosidad (PMcM), which is available through CNMV, an agency that lists timing of collections and payments in Spain’s construction industry, Ferrovial is reported to be the worst offender of this law. Ferrovial has taken as much as 536 days to pay their suppliers. That’s about 10 times the legal limit. This has put some smaller suppliers out of business and has caused an outcry.
When company’s like Ferrovial practice business this way, it leaves a lot of heartache because it’s not just that the company has to shut down. People lose jobs. They lose their ability to provide for their families. Sometimes a good paying job is replaced with a job that pays far less and so the standard of living is reduced. Our governing authorities have to stop worrying about these multinational corporations providing jobs and look at what their business practices do to good paying jobs.
Although Ferrovial will take as much as 536 days to pay their suppliers, no financial penalties are imposed on the company. In contrast, the company demands that their customers pay after only 34 days. As we have seen here in Canada with 407 ETR, not only does this company demand to be paid within 34 days, but imposes harsh financial penalties to the tune of thousands and thousands of dollars. To make matters worse, our governing authorities help the company perpetuate this gross misconduct by keeping people in what is essentially debtor’s prison by means of Plate Denial, until you pay whatever usury amounts of money the company imposes on you for nonpayment. Talk about your double standards.
Ferrovial can destroy smaller companies, putting them out of business by simply not paying them. Ferrovial can operate a foreign company like 407 ETR and destroy people’s lives by imposing harsh financial penalties for nonpayment and have governing authorities place people debtor’s prison. A double standard at it’s finest. The question is why? Why do we continue to allow large multinational corporations do this? Don’t we, as a democratic society, frown on sovereign nations that treat their people in this manner? Then why is our very own governing authorities doing business with a company that does the same thing?

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